It's NOT about me?

I remember planning my wedding, it was a bit of an ordeal. I'm not a party person, I hate being the center of attention. Even being in the same room as attention makes me want to jump out of my skin. But I'd decided to get married, my intended and I wanted our families there, so I was gonna have to grin and bear it. My mother asks if we're having a cash or open bar. Neither is my reply. I thought my future mother-in-law was going to faint on the spot. Neither my husband or I drink, and I was tired of going to weddings and see people embarrass themselves and others because they had no self control. I said, it's my wedding, and I'll do it how I want. It's not about you, they tell me. Not about ME? I'm the bride. If it's not about me, who in the world is it about????

Nearly 18 months ago, my boss hired a new resource, supposedly to help take some of the load off me. Unfortunately it was a gross miscalculation, and ended up nearly tripling a work load that was already double. Thanks to one of my pastors and a friend of mine, I was finally able to pray about it, and 2 weeks later, the resource was fired. Now, I didn't want the person to lose their job, I just didn't want them working with me. I was ever so thankful, but I did ask God why it took Him so long to deal with it. "Why my child, it wasn't about what you wanted, but what I wanted." Cue the raised eyebrow. Had I known what it was He wanted, it might have been easier to deal with the whole situation, but I suppose that was kind of the point.

Most recently, I bought a car. I was very excited about it - extra freedom and all that. Something that was all mine AND it had a cassette player. I haven't yet gotten around to converting my Culture Club, George Michael, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, Morris Day and the Time to CD yet, so I was doing dixie! God taps me on the shoulder and says "Enjoy it while you can, you won't have it long." - Pshaw - I'ma take care of this puppy, mark my words. And I did just that...for 2 weeks. Then I get a call from a friend who's in a situation and would very much appreciate the loan of my car. It's a bit of a deal, but not a big deal. So I lend it. One morning, the little voice in my head tells me to have my friend added to my car insurance policy, so I do - just in case. Long story short, my friend likes the car and wants to buy it from me, as their situation isn't resolved and may not be for some time. This distresses me somewhat. I just got reacquainted with George, George, Lisa Lisa and Morris, I CAN'T give them up again so soon! I mean, come ON! I sell the car, and I get a call a few days later. Could I have my insurance company call hers to confirm that she was on my policy. Since this is the first car she's ever owned, this call could make an $800 difference on her policy. Well pick my peas and fry my bacon, how fortuitous for her. As I marvel over this turn of events, doesn't God tell me that it wasn't about what I needed, but what she would need.

And as I reflected on this the last few days, wondering when it would ever be about me (still under the radar of course). I came to understand that it would NEVER be about me. As long as I continue to follow God's plan, my wants and needs will be taken care of - though it'd be nice to have a copy of that road map.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. - Romans 8: 28 (NKJV)

Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith? “And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. - Luke 12:27-30 (NKJV)